Having kids...is it selfish?

Recently I have been discussing this, is having kids a selfish act?

Don't get me wrong I like kids - And I want one. But I can't shake the feeling that this is a selfish act on my part to even want one. Yes I want a kid - Yes I want he or she to grow up and have a happy life. Yes I want the best for them. But knowing how difficult life can be, do I want my kid to go through all the trials and tribulations? -No! They will go through - being picked on, being in a difficult relationship, feeling out of step with the rest of the world or just plain daily frustrations. Even though you want to, you can't protect them from life. But knowing about all these hardships that YOU have gone through in your life -Are you still willing to bring a child into this world?

rusty, Aug 26 2005 10:36AM

Without the hard times in your life, how could you appreciate the good times?

I know this is not really what you are asking, but having kid's as selfish? To be a good parent is a very selfless act if approached appropriately. It's very time consuming and you really have to be attuned to someone else's needs.

Selfish by definition is lack of consideration for others. It's true that there are a lot of people who have kids, get married, have relationships, etc. solely focusing on their own needs. That's why we have so many failed marriages and kids raising themselves.

mark, Aug 26 2005 11:18AM

wow, rusty, what an eloquent comment. i agree with what you said.

paul - sounds like you think of having kids as a path to your own exclusive enjoyment, ie. selfish?

Ann, Aug 27 2005 12:01AM

I prefer to think about all of the potentially good things that my son will experience as opposed to the bad things. Of course, he will have his share of accidents, bad days, etc., just as I did, but I'm going to do everything that I can to set him in the right direction and expose him to as many positive experiences as possible.

Carrying a child, giving birth, and taking care of him/her each day does take a lot of energy and sacrifice, but it is totally worth it. Raising a child is something that I wanted to experience and I will be doing everything in my power to make sure my son has a rich (not rich as in $$, but rich in experiences) life. In general, I'm glad that I am here and I hope that he will someday feel the same about himself.

I don't think of my parents as being selfish for bringing me into this world because they have done so much for me. But I'm sure lots of people don't feel that way, unfortunately.

paul, Aug 28 2005 10:45AM

i think maybe i'm not speaking clearly. what are people's reasonings or motivations for having kids?
i'd like to know...