Death, Pre-Sorted


Like most people, an awful lot of junk mail finds its way into my mailbox. Each day I shred the credit card offers, recycle the catalogs, toss the internet access disks and tear up the magazine subscription offers that I have come so accustomed to receiving. But last week a new offer arrived in the familiar pre-sorted package that made me wonder if I had crossed another threshold in life.

In an envelope was my very first piece of memorial park and mausoleum junk mail which was trying to convince me to begin preparing for death. Addressed to "Mr. & Mrs. Mark Sanders" (which is technically incorrect since my wife kept her last name) large type announced the usual "FREE OFFER" and a price that would never increase if I acted now. And of course I could fill out and send the postage-paid card for a free brochure that contained valuable information and planning tools.

I have to admit that I am a little curious about the free offer, but experts say consumers should never fill out and return any unsolicited offers. By doing so you confirm your identity and practically guarantee lots more junk mail since the marketer will likely sell your corroborated information. So that made me think, who buys a mailing list from a memorial park and mausoleum? And what type of junk mail would I start getting as a result?

I think the reply card and the brochure will ultimately find their way to the trash bin like so many of its cousins. But before it does I would like to leave you with part of the pitch from the largest memorial park in the East. can arrange for memorial property before need, and avoid the confusion and distress that comes with a decision made in haste.

I guess that means now is really the time to act.

Ann, Aug 16 2005 10:28PM

Several years ago I went to a small business expo at the local convention center. Among all the booths showcasing furniture, phone services, spa treatments, etc. was a booth run by a local funeral home. They even had a casket set up. There was no one walking through this booth and the guy working at it looked really bored. So I decided to go into the booth and get one of their free ball-point pens.

...and yes, the casket was empty...thank goodness.

sandie, Aug 18 2005 10:21PM

you'd probably get junk mail from florists and The Men's Wearhouse.